SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Welcome and thanks for joining us on this episode of the Midweek Podcast, brought to you by a Fresh Wind Church. Each week, our team brings you new content to help you take steps towards Jesus and discover more in Christ. Today's episode is hosted by Pastor Ryan.

SPEAKER_01: 0:27

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast. Pastor Ryan joined as always with Pastor Tim, and uh we are in the third week of our series Grow, and we're talking about ripping out these five kind of heart poisons that that Peter lists in uh in his letter. And so we've been talking uh week one was malice. Then we talked about deceit and hypocrisy. This week, um, America's favorite pastime. We were talking about envy. Ouch.

SPEAKER_02: 0:56

Yeah. That'll be a good one. But let me remind everyone about malice. Um Thanksgiving will be tomorrow, and you guys are gonna go out to the grocery store. And uh so remember the whole thing about malice. It's we went out um yesterday and and it's like, what are all these people doing here? You know, uh, did you all wait till the last minute? I guess they did. So it's crazy out there. So if you have to go out, remember no malice.

SPEAKER_01: 1:28

You know, I all these are are pretty timely going right into the holidays, you know, the deceit and um that that we bring when we we get together with people, uh, the hypocrisy that we see, um, envy as as we start to gather or start looking ahead towards Christmas. Um, this has been a timely series, I guess, as as we get ready to gather. Um also want to just remind you, God's doing some amazing things. We're gonna jump into, I promised everyone in the sermon, a envy diagnostic, and we're gonna look at that. But uh just a quick reminder, um, man, so many exciting things are are coming up here at Fresh Win. Um, man, uh Tim, I was looking at looking at some of the numbers. Um, because you know, we we've been trying to hold off on two services as long as we can. And we're like, we don't know if we're ready, we don't know if we have the people. Um and I I told the team, I said, we'll hold off as long as we can. We'll we'll do whatever we can to not have two services. Um, but man, just in the past, I think three years uh increases uh attendance, um, average attendance has grown by 170% in three years. We're running out of parking spaces, and so um that's just a testament uh to the purpose and the mission that God has given us. People are discovering more in Christ each and every week, and uh, we want to create room for more. Um, and so this isn't just about two services. We want you to invite your friends, invite your family, and we want to have space for them to come and experience what you've experienced, the the life transformation that happens through Christ. And so uh be a part of of all that God's doing here. Invite somebody and uh also want to encourage you to get involved on a volunteer team. Lord knows we need some help.

SPEAKER_02: 3:17

Yeah. Uh and everything's going really good. I'm I'm excited about um how we're gonna do it and put it together. Uh the biggest uh struggle right now uh is the worship team and how we're gonna do that. We need uh not singers, we got singers all over the place. We need people who can play instruments. So if you're good at that, see Teresa and um maybe she can plug you in in one of these services and give somebody a breather. That'd be really that'd be really good.

SPEAKER_01: 3:46

Yeah, besides the preachers, they're definitely gonna have the hardest time, probably.

SPEAKER_02: 3:50

Right. Right. And I I see how you threw yourself out there. Yeah, I just wanted the little bit of recognition. I don't want the stage, I just want to be up there with them. Right, right. No, I I uh this will this will be exciting, a good, solid run through and then preach it again.

SPEAKER_01: 4:09

Yeah. So if you want the good sermon, come to 11.

SPEAKER_02: 4:12

If you'll have practiced it once before. If you want the raw sermon, come to nine, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 4:18

And uh we'll all be half awake. Who knows what we'll say at the 9 a.m. service? Right, that's true.

SPEAKER_02: 4:23

That's where we get to test all our jokes to see if they're funny and and uh drop them out for the 11. No, that's all uh coming up, and we're excited about that, and we're excited about the what the Lord's doing. He trusts us with more people. So um we're going to uh step into that trust and and be the church he's called us to be.

SPEAKER_01: 4:46

Yeah, amen. Well, uh this past week we talked about envy, and I did share a story about uh going to this Reach conference with uh some of the teenagers in the church. Um, took my kids and then my uh niece and nephew. Um we all went over there and man, it was right in my face. They got the coolest lights, the you know, LED screens. Uh they had some of the most comfortable like theatrical seating I've ever sat in. You know, they even reclined a little bit, had a little bounce to them. They were great. I'm like, this is awesome. And the Lord's like, remember your sermon? And I'm like, not now, God. And so I was sat in the car, was trying to convince Joy I was not envious, uh, when in fact I was. And so I thought it would be uh kind of fun today on the Midweek podcast uh to do this envy diagnostic and um take a look at how to know when when envy and jealousy is quietly shaping your life. Because that's that's the key, is envy doesn't always show up as this big obvious sin. You know, it's not like murder, it's not not quite like adultery, it's it's a little bit more subtle than that.

SPEAKER_02: 6:01

And it's embedded in the culture, it's part of how we entertain ourselves. Go into the boat show and going to the car show and and uh the motorcycle show. There's always a show to show you what you don't have. And and we've turned it into um entertainment. And uh so we have to be careful because it slips slips in, and we're not here trying to uh put on a guilt trip. Uh what we're gonna do is give you a heart check to see if you're being influenced by it because it so um permeates through our culture in such a way that it's just part of who we are. It's part of being capitalistic, it's part of being, you know, uh independent and self-centered. Um you gotta be a little bit of that uh in life if you're gonna get a job, keep a job, and all that kind of stuff. But um the Lord wants that surrendered to him so that each of us esteem others better than ourselves, right? Think of others first, is what Paul said. And um don't worry about your own stuff, worry about other people's stuff. And uh this check is gonna be simply to see if something somewhere has snuck in and is influencing your contentment and your happiness.

SPEAKER_01: 7:22

Yeah, that's that's key. Um and I I said in the sermon on Sunday, man, if if we don't deal with these things, it'll it'll steal our joy. It'll rob us from the present, you know, because I'm so focused on what I don't have or what they have or what I wish I had that I I won't enjoy the the here and the now. Um and it'll man, it'll it'll rob me of my peace and my contentment. I I won't be satisfied with what God has given me. And sometimes and I I don't I don't think I even put this in the sermon, but man, sometimes we're praying and God gives us things. Um and man, we God He just answered our prayer, but we are so focused on the next thing that we're like, oh thank you, God. What about this? You know, and we won't even enjoy it. And man, the the truth is a lot of us are enjoying the blessings that someone else is praying for right now. Right. Um, and if they only had what you had, how different their life would be. Um, and it's is as we allow envy to kind of sneak in here, um, man, it it will it'll it'll rob us of all those things. And so it often it's those tiny comparisons, that quiet frustration, those little moments when uh you're scrolling through Instagram and and suddenly our lives just feel smaller, less significant, less um cool, you know, as I look at everybody else. And so we want to uh to walk you through uh seven subtle symptoms of envy and how they show up in just normal everyday life. And uh we'll uh we'll walk through these together. Point number one uh in the envy diagnostic. Uh, how do you know if envy is present in your life? When someone else's blessing feels like your burden ouch. Um and envy begins to to twist when someone else's win uh into your loss.

SPEAKER_02: 9:19

You know, yeah, it that it always does that. It it um it twists your thinking that oh my gosh, look what happened to them. And man, that that should be that should trigger you. That should trigger you. What what am I talking about? You know, I'm not even in my real life yet. You know, I'll be in my real life when I'm with Jesus, but this is uh this is here and now, and suddenly them getting promoted or them uh getting a new car or or them getting a new job or or whatever it is um would make you feel sad.

SPEAKER_01: 10:04

So sticky because man, I remember years ago I wanted a truck so bad. Now I've realized I can't afford to drive a truck. The gas mileage is just not good enough. For years I thought I I need a truck. And uh our life group, uh, we had some of the guys, we had just a hangout night with our group, and uh, me and two or three of the other guys, we drove over to Mike Bass Ford in uh Elyria or Sheffield there, and um we started walking around, the dealership was closed, but we're like walking around looking at these trucks. I'm like, man, some of these things are unlocked. So we would open it. We just climbed in, sat down inside this truck, and we were all dreaming. What if this was our truck? We sat in some nice trucks. I can't believe they left those things unlocked. I'm sure they don't now. Someone probably went and watched the footage from that night and said, Someone go lock all the trucks. Um, but man, it was oh, just dreaming. And then I think it Pat. Pat got this beautiful uh Dodge, whatever. I don't know, is it 2500, 350 dooley? Yeah, it's it is a truck. Um, and he shows up in that and I'm like, you know, this I've been wanting a truck, and now he buys it, and all of a sudden, I haven't lost anything. I didn't have a truck before, I don't have a truck now, haven't lost anything, but pack out a truck, and all of a sudden I feel a loss. And that's that's how you know when someone else's blessing begins to feel like a loss or a burden for you. Man, you you just you know, you know, they show up with a new phone, and all of a sudden the phone that you had that's been working fine. You've had no issues with it. Now it's not good enough. These things begin to sneak on in there. And so um it, you know, here's some questions asked, maybe. Do I feel smaller when someone else gets bigger?

SPEAKER_02: 11:57

That's a big one. We uh if someone gets the job that we want or or volunteers for something and are picked out of several volunteers. Um even at a uh you can feel this even at a volunteer organization like the church. So it's it's pretty important to catch these things. Now, I know we're all grown-up people, and we're not saying, oh, you know, what's wrong with you? If this happens to you, you know what's wrong with you? I'll tell you straight up, you're normal. That's what's wrong with you. And uh, but these things we're trying to tell you, catch these things before they steal your joy, before they rob you of God's purpose in your life, and steal your contentment so that you can uh live in your presence, his presence in your present, uh, with joy all the time. That's good. And you don't want uh someone else's blessing to drain your joy. That is just that's so good. Yeah, you don't want to miss that. And we're reminding ourselves and you these things because in our culture, this is a normal thing. And so we want you to catch that and say, I don't want that to be normal in my life. If someone else does well, that doesn't mean I'm doing bad.

SPEAKER_01: 13:20

Yep, yeah, right? And yeah, it's it is so baked in our culture. And I tried to drive that home in the sermon. We excuse it, it is just who we are as Americans. Um, this is normal, and and it we're saying while it's normal, it is uh unknowingly robbing us of our joy and our contentment. I love what Paul told the Romans. He says, Rejoice with those who rejoice. Man, if we could get our minds around that, just if you did that this week, how different would your life would be?

SPEAKER_02: 13:51

That really takes us to point number two. Um when you can't celebrate without comparing. You know, it's not about whether you can celebrate or not. It's about whether you can celebrate with someone like Paul said, rejoice with them without comparing. Now, I have got hopefully Teresa doesn't listen to this one. I'll tell her it's bad. But uh I mean don't listen to it.

SPEAKER_01: 14:18

We it was it was not a good episode.

SPEAKER_02: 14:20

It was my sister-in-law's birthday. We went over there for uh dinner. She made dinner for everybody, and and we went over there and and her husband prayed before we ate, and he just prayed this thanking God about the great woman she is and you know how beautiful and all this kind of stuff. And of course, instead of Teresa, and I'm pointing her out, instead of her saying, Wow, you know, that that's great that he loves her like that. She said, How come you never pray like that about me? So at least she didn't say it in front of everybody. And uh I was thinking during that prayer, you know what, I need to pray more about like that, pray like that about Teresa. Um, if anybody deserves it living with me, it's her. And um and of course, as soon as we got in the car going home, she's like, let's have a talk. You know, I didn't want to pray about you like that anyways. So it's it's one of those things that um even in that uh little thing there, that prayer, you know, as soon as someone's celebrating, if we compare that, we've got a problem. We've got a contentment problem.

SPEAKER_01: 15:40

Yeah, it immediately brings into focus all the things that that we have that aren't good enough all of a sudden. You know, I we bought uh a house a few years ago, and it's a nice house. I love our house. Um love the property, you know, came with a pool. It's been a nightmare. But at the time I was excited about the fact that it had a pool. Um and it was all good until Emily and Caleb bought a new house. And they had to remodel their house. It didn't have all the nice stuff, you know, coming with it. But I walked into their house the other day and he put in leather granite countertops in their house. And all of a sudden, my countertops that I've not paid attention to in four years are like, oh my gosh, I need that leather granite countertop. Um, and it this is how it sticks in. And it's great to say, man, look at this. Look at it. I'm so excited for you guys. And in the back of your head, you're going, How come I don't have this?

SPEAKER_02: 16:42

And let's not get too focused on what somebody has has and what they don't have. Um that thing with my sister-in-law is is a pretty good indicator in your life about your family. How come my family isn't close? How come my family, um my sisters aren't like their sister, you know, always calling and checking my. How come my parents don't call my kids, you know, my grandkids and and her grandparents, her parents call my kids all the time. Why, you know, and that comparison, as soon as you compare, as soon as that happens, uh you rob your joy. The celebration is gone, the party's over. Uh, it doesn't matter how you were trying to make it a big thing, uh, but at Christmas, the party's over when you compare. Well, look at what my my parents got the kids, and look what your parents got the kids. You're done. It's over. The Christmas celebration uh celebration is done. Um, you can't compare like that. And uh, if you're comparing what you gave your kids and what someone else gave your kids, um just celebrate that someone cared enough about your kids to spend more money than they should have. Because you know they did. You know they did. You shouldn't be spending that kind of money. Um, they're gonna play with it for 10 minutes and we're gonna store it in the basement. Thanks, mom and dad. And so that's uh that's what's going on around us all the time, that comparison. And as soon as you do that, the celebration's over, and we want to celebrate, especially this Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 18:19

Yeah, and so here's a question you can ask yourself. Do I secretly wish that their good news happened to me instead? Not just to me, but instead of them, do I wish it happened to me? If that's sneaking in, you know that this uh comparison is beginning to rob you of celebration. And man, you'll you'll enjoy your relationships better if you just let it go. And when something great happens to someone, just be the cheerleader. This is awesome. I'm so excited for you. Right. And I'll tell you, um, Tim, you have modeled this probably as good as anybody in my life. When things have happened, you have been one of the first people to champion it. Um and where a lot of people might say, Oh, how come? And I wish you've been there cheering those things on for me. So thank you for modeling that so good.

SPEAKER_02: 19:10

Well, that's interesting that you say that because the neck one next one that's coming up is something I don't want. And I've learned that if I can celebrate with somebody, it relieves the pressure on my life. And I don't like pressure. And so I do the things that I need to do to get the pressure off me. And a lot of people aren't like that. They thrive in pressure, and I do. I still get more done when I'm under pressure. Um, but I don't want to feel it. I don't want to, I don't want that stress in my life. And listen, envy will pressure you to perform like someone else. So that's point number three when you feel the need to prove yourself because someone else has done something uh really great and uh or in enjoying a blessing that's really great, and suddenly you feel like, well, now I gotta I gotta get up there and prove myself.

SPEAKER_01: 20:07

Yeah. This one is I mean, I guess they're all a little bit more subtle, but you this one will start showing up in your bank account. Yeah, because it sure will. You'll start buying things, it'll show up in your newsfeed because you all of a sudden you'll start posting stuff. And if you'll look, you didn't post that just to keep grandma and grandpa who live in Arizona updated on your kids. You posted that with the intention of making sure everyone knows that you had a better Christmas. You know, like uh look at what we got our kids. Um, and they're all of a sudden this need, I've got to do this to keep up. Um man, I I am not a yard landscape guy. I've talked to Clayton and Ben, and I told them both, you guys need to come fix my yard. I don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_02: 20:56

Um, but both of my neighbors look, they can't fix it to where you don't have to take care of it. That's all I want.

SPEAKER_01: 21:03

You're gonna have to take care of it. Uh it's it's not good. And my neighbors, uh, they both have their yard treated. And so I'm the second house. When you pull into the neighborhood, there's house, then there's us, and then the third house. So house one and three treat their yards. It's the most deep green, beautiful, thick grass, no weed lawns you've ever seen. And then there's my yellow grass full of weeds. And I think if I sprayed weed killer, I'd end up with just dirt. I think it's more weeds than dirt or grass sometimes. Um, and I saw one of their weed guys out the other day, the lawn care guys, um, and I ran out there and I said, Hey, how much to fix this? And he looks over and goes, Oh boy. And he gave me the price, and I was like, nah, I can't do it. But there was that desire of, man, look at their yards, and I have got to prove to myself and the rest of the neighborhood. I mean, as soon as you pull in, this is what you see. I've got to prove that I'm just like them, that I'm as good as they are. And it almost cost me 300 bucks a month to do it.

SPEAKER_02: 22:15

It's funny, I um you run across people that are in the middle of that all the time. And it's not who you think it is. You know, the person that looks blessed and um he built this big house, he did this thing, and and everybody else is like, well, now I gotta prove myself. Well, he's proving himself too. Just go over there. You want a tour of the house? No, this is great. Let's just have coffee. You don't want a tour of my house? All right, let's go on a tour. You know?

SPEAKER_01: 22:46

So uh this is I clean the baseboards in the master bathroom.

SPEAKER_02: 22:50

You're gonna look at it. Right. And uh I I tell you what, there's it slips in in a lot of different ways, but here's the question you need to ask yourself. Am I making a decision a decision to look blessed or to be blessed? If you can lay that down, that pressure to perform and just to let the Lord bless you the way the Lord wants to bless you, you'll be thankful for what he blesses you for and you'll be content. But if you're waiting for God to bless you up to the standard that you think so-and-so, well, so-and-so is doing the same thing. You know, they're I you know, somebody's always got more.

SPEAKER_01: 23:38

Those will lead to two very different um actions. Making decisions to look blessed versus making the decision to be blessed. Um, if you're doing it to look blessed, you'll act very differently than you do if you're saying, God, I'm gonna act in such a way that you can bless my life. Um and that's man, that's a challenging question. Um, I'd also ask yourself, do I feel behind unless I'm keeping up? Right. Um, me and my brother, when we were in uh high school, we started a lawn care business. I think we did one person's lawn. So that tells you how successful it was. I told you I don't like lawn care. But uh our tagline for I think we called the company Your Lawn, and our tagline was keeping your grass greener than the other side. Which I thought, man, someone should steal that. Because even though we were terrible at running a business, it's a great tagline in name. Um, but there is this desire to keep up, and I wonder, man, do I feel behind unless I'm keeping up? If unless I got what they have and and the standard that I have looks like what they have, do I feel behind? And here's the truth: when you feel that pressure to prove yourself, what happens is gratitude starts to slip. And so this is point number four in the envy diagnostic is when gratitude disappears, you know envy is present. Because envy blinds us to what we already have. And you start looking around, and all of a sudden, I mean, you got a decent house. You got a car that drives, at least get you from point A to point B.

SPEAKER_02: 25:09

It's funny how your own house is just decent.

SPEAKER_01: 25:13

Right?

SPEAKER_02: 25:13

No matter how much you spend on it, no matter what, it's all yeah, my house is decent. Why? Because there's always somebody with a better house. They're a better new house. Yeah, but that's we we have to catch that in ourselves and say, my house is not okay. It's fantastic. This is mine. God has given me this, and you need to celebrate that because if you don't, that envy will blind you to your thankfulness for what God has given you already.

unknown: 25:44

That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 25:45

Because you don't have to have that house. You could have a trailer. Teresa and I lived in a trailer. You don't want to live in a trailer. Okay, especially one where there's a big hole in the step to get in, and there's a uh the furnace don't work, and uh I mean we were struggling. But uh listen, we uh there's people that have a trailer and are grateful. And uh matter of fact, uh the trailers that my family lived in down in Kentucky were nicer than the houses we were living up here in Ohio. And uh so uh you can envy can go either way, you know. It's a it's a very crafty sin. And it almost has its own thinking. How can I get around his gratitude? How can I make this wet basement steal his gratitude for his whole home and his family, you know? And uh and and comparing's tough, but when you when you feel like man, I'm I don't feel grateful for nothing, then envy is is good.

SPEAKER_01: 26:57

Alarm bell should be going off. Envy has has sunken in deep. Um and here's and I and I mentioned this briefly earlier, but what happens is is the blessings of God stop feeling like blessings, right? Like they feel like cold, you know, it's it's not hot off the stove anymore. This yeah, God blessed me, but it was a long time ago. Um and and the thing that you've been praying for all of a sudden feels like it's not enough. That's how you begin to know, man, envy is is taking root here. Um and this is something I I've got to deal with. God, you are enough. Your blessings are enough. You have been faithful to meet all of my needs. And if that's all that ever I all I ever get, it's enough. And God, I thank you for it. And when you begin to live that way and you rip that envy out, man, you can have joy again. You can have contentment and you fight it with with gratitude. And so here's here's a reflection question for you. Do I believe the lie that happiness is just one purchase away?

SPEAKER_02: 28:11

Or one person away. Or you know, we I mean, we gotta get deep into this and uh just talking about um man, if I had that new tool at Home Depot, it trimming this uh baseboard would have been a whole lot easier, you know. Um we gotta get past that uh when we look at um others' people's lives and their relationships. Um but the great thing about your relationship, you don't have to spend any money to make it better. You know, the one thing about relationships, if you give them what they want, your relationship gets better. Well, I'm not gonna give them what they want until they give me what I want. And there we go down the road. And uh so um let as we come into Thanksgiving, it's coming up uh tomorrow. Let's talk about Am I thankful? Am I truly grateful? Do things when you're standing in the circle, we do a a circle with Teresa's family and we go around and talk about what we're grateful for and and um maybe this Thanksgiving is a good day to say, am I truly grateful or has envy stolen that from my life?

SPEAKER_01: 29:30

That would be uh that would be a good a good check. Um and so when gratitude disappears, you know envy is present. And and here's the other thing that envy will begin to do, and this is this is point five is envy will begin to shape how you feel about other people. Because when resentment grows towards people who did nothing wrong to you, envy's there. Yeah, um, and I shared that story of uh Joyce Meyer who you know talked about how when a you know She was talking to a group of women, but when a you know pretty woman walks in and she's got beautiful hair and nice teeth and the new designer bag and her outfit is just right, and she's got the right shoes, and she she's like, You will hate that woman, and you've not even said hi to her, you don't know anything about her, right? But you will hate her, and and that man, that there is something in us. Um I didn't see Isaac uh Sunday. I was gonna bring him up on stage um and and just say, Man, Isaac is a man's man, right? Like you could you could cast him as Captain America. Don't do that to people. He's lucky I didn't see him. Uh, you know, he's about four push-ups. You could you could cast him as as Thor. I mean, he you could put him in the Navy SEAL show that's on TV. I mean, he can do it. And I was like, this is the kind of guy that when he walks into the gym, guys like me go, I'm going home. Like, I just, and Isaac's the greatest guy you you'll ever meet. I went running with him one time and he slowed his pace, ran with me, was my biggest cheerleader. That's who he is. But he's that kind of guy that, man, it is like, I just, uh, he looks like he's he's at the gym every day. How am I ever gonna keep up? And man, when you got that envy in there, it you will feel like, man, there's just something I have against this person, even though they've done nothing wrong to you. Um, that that quiet bitterness begins to form towards others, and our heart moves from, I wish I had that, to I wish they didn't have that.

SPEAKER_02: 31:39

And that resentment builds. Resentment, bitterness grows. It grows like a spiritual fruit. If you let that get a root in your life, it'll continue to grow. And that resentment won't stay still. It'll move from that person that you're mad at just because they get up in the morning and work out, you know, that will spread to more people. And uh your family, you'll start to be resenting everybody. And you'll and and it's then it's hard to find, you know, to root it out. Where did this start? What what happened, you know? And so it's very important that um if you're starting to resent somebody, you know there's envy in there somewhere. Uh there is something. Uh not everybody comes around and and hurts you deeply and so forth and so on. Some people are just better.

SPEAKER_01: 32:37

The reason it's so hard to pinpoint where did this start is there wasn't really a starting point, right? Sometimes they didn't do anything wrong to you. Um there's just this thing. And you know, maybe it's the guy at work or the lady at work who always seems to be praised from the boss. You know, she or she makes she always got has the most sales at the end of the month or the quarter. Um, you know, if you're on sports, um, you know, it's the guy who always finishes, you know, the drills first, or who seems like he always gets all the rain county each week. And and he's not doing anything wrong. He might be a great guy, she might be a great girl, but all of a sudden you're just like, oh, I got this thing against them.

SPEAKER_02: 33:22

Um that develops so quickly to a culture that praises people who are better. You know, we look at our ball teams, he's not good enough, he needs to be better. That's what you and I will say to a guy who can run a four or six and uh he weighs 382 pounds, you know, and we're like, he needs to be better. It's like, how can you be better than that? You just you just can't be. But we look at them and we praise them, but then suddenly someone who we think kind of compares to us and we figure out that they're better at what we do. And that's that's a tough thing, tough thing to swallow, especially when it's not like, well, if I worked out more, I'd be better than him. Or if I if I did this, I'd no, you're uh you're doing this, you're all in, and there's someone better. That happens in air traffic control all the time. Some people just see it better, they see it sooner, you know, the develop developing problems. And um, I'd I would say I'm I'm working to be like this guy, and my trainer would say, he's better than you at this. You need to do it this way so it doesn't get out of control. He can do it any way he wants to, because he's better than you. And he's better than me. So you need to see that because you're not he's got a knack, he can just figure this out, and um he's he's better than you. Man, it used to grind my gears. Now I can do this better, I can do it better. I just gotta focus more, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, and um and they were always better. And and those things are are hard to quantify. But if it was football and he was better than me at football, I wouldn't care because I know there's a lot of people a lot better than him, you know, and uh but when it's something that I do and they're better, that that resentment will build, and you you don't want that, you need to praise them. And uh I I you know I learned this from my dad because he was um he says he would always say, I'm me, and I can do some extraordinary things, but those things God doesn't want me to do. So I'm gonna settle with what God wants me to do, and I'm gonna let other people uh be God's whatever in that situation. And um, and that that helped me as a kid to not be pushed by other people. You know, I hear them talking about when Mayfield comes back here and play, you know, Baker Mayfield, he's you know, he's got revenge and that's motivating him. Don't let that stuff motivate you. You celebrate the fact that Baker on his own saved his career. And uh, and that's a great thing.

unknown: 36:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_02: 36:35

Not because I'm uh in the Baker whatever, but because um he was a brat and he grew up. I mean, praise the Lord. That's something we should celebrate.

SPEAKER_01: 36:46

Listen, all that is true. I still hate the Chiefs, I still hate the Yankees, I still hate the Golden State Warriors, I hate them. And I don't like I don't like Pittsburgh or Michigan either. Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 36:58

So there's all right. Well, let's move on to point six because point five just fell off a cliff.

SPEAKER_01: 37:04

Well, here, let me here's some reflection questions to ask, and then we'll move on to point six. Is there someone that you find yourself rooting against? For no particular reason, you're just rooting against them. That might be a good spot to say, man, is it envy that's causing me to do that?

unknown: 37:21

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 37:21

Um, and then question number two do I resent people who are doing well for no other reason than they're doing well. That's another key indicator that envy is present in your life. And so those are some good questions. And when this resentment, it always leads to feeling like this. And this is point six, when you constantly feel behind. See, envy creates this false race with invisible competitors, and we feel like I'm constantly trying to have to do more, to be more, to achieve more. I'm I haven't earned enough, I haven't, you know, uh got enough. I don't have you know, my house isn't big enough, my car's not fast enough, whatever it is, I'm constantly behind. And so life begins to feel like you're just on this treadmill of of comparison with other people, and you feel behind all the time.

SPEAKER_02: 38:12

That's tough. That'll work on your self-image. You know, why can't I be better? Why can't I be ahead? Is this ever gonna stop? It it starts to work on your on you mentally, and uh you don't want to end up uh with problems because of envy. Um I noticed you put in our notes here the neighbor's solo stove is the new model and you got the old model.

SPEAKER_01: 38:43

I got the original, the OG.

SPEAKER_02: 38:45

Yeah, yeah. But this can be uh not just that. It's just that um they go on a vacation. It seems like they're on a vacation every week. How come we can't go on a vacation? It can be um when we show up at church, he's got all these tools, and I don't have all these tools. How am I gonna, you know, do whatever? Um all those little comparisons, those things like that make you feel like you're behind that everybody else is achieving something that you're not achieving. And I got a lot of tools. That's been one of my issues. I want that new tool. And um now all my new tools are really old. And new things have come out, and they do new things, and they do things that mine do better. And um I can't go out and buy a new nail gun. I don't use the nail gun I got, you know? So now I'm gonna replace it for a new model. It doesn't, it doesn't compute. But those things, uh, you get this invisible competitor. You know, everybody else has got this new thing. I dropped uh, we were coming out here on last Thursday to work on the center building, and I was getting my ladder down, and you know, when that little giant ladder came out, and everybody's like, oh, and it's so light, and you can roll it around. And uh, well, I found the little giant ladder at Walmart. It wasn't that brand, it was Walmart's brand for 69 bucks. It wasn't$480, so I was like, I'm getting this one. Well, the one I bought weighs 1,200 pounds. I'm like, are we sure this is made out of aluminum? Are there lead weights on this thing? I don't know what's going on. Anyways, I had to drop it down and I dropped it on my foot. And it it slid down inside itself and then banged on the top of my foot, and it hurt so bad, and it's bruised black and blue. I think it's broken. It's broken, and Joy won't help me with it. And uh, but you know the first thing I thought? I didn't say, oh my gosh, I broke my foot, oh my gosh, this hurt so bad. Somebody helped me, whatever. You know, you know what I thought? I should have bought the little giant. That's exactly what I thought. And so I'm like, I have got to be content with what I have, or these little constantly feeling behind will rob my joy.

SPEAKER_01: 41:23

Yeah, you look in other people, you know, you you're like, I'm working the same hours. We work, yeah, I mean we gotta be making roughly the same amount of money. Like it's not like I'm sitting over here slacking off, and yet they're out to dinner all the time. They took four vacations this year, they just got you know, upgraded their car again. And you're like, I'm barely able to keep up. And we don't go out to eat a lot. We're not, you know, going out on the weekends with our buddy, and and I don't even play golf. I don't even play golf. How can they afford to go?

SPEAKER_02: 41:52

More reasons than money for that one. I was no.

SPEAKER_01: 41:58

We start to look out and we're like, how am I so behind? I'm doing everything that I I can, working the hours I can, trying to make as much money as I can, and I'm just behind. And and then you'll do that, and then you'll look and be like, Well, this guy, you know, he he's at all of his kids' games, and he's and then you'll feel behind in that way. Well, now, you know, even as a dad, I'm behind. I'm not doing it the way that that so-and-so does it. And how come he's able to do that and I'm not able to do that? And we have this envy that grows where we feel behind all the time. And that it's it's one of those indicators, man. We we've got to stop and reflect.

SPEAKER_02: 42:38

It produces anxiety, and yet you're trying to figure out what am I so worried about, and you can't find it, it might be here, might be in envy. Now, as deep as we've talked about envy, envy always becomes a theological issue. And um that's where we end up with number seven. When you measure God's goodness by someone else's blessing, is God good? Well, the answer is obviously yes. Why would he be good to them and not be good in the same way to me? So it's it's it always ends up here. So let's talk about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01: 43:24

I mean, envy whispers that God loves others more, right? And this is something you've even shared, um, you know, I can't remember. This is probably a couple months ago. You talked about, you know, I know God loves me, but he loves me because he has to love me. Right. But he probably he loves other people more because they're good. You know, he has to love me. He chooses to love them. Yeah, he trusts them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 43:49

Yeah. He he loves me like the red-headed stepchild. I love ya, but I know you're gonna be in trouble next week. I love ya, but I know I can't trust you to get this done. I love ya, but you know, that's that's I kind of grew up with that in um a very legalistic um background as I theological background as I grew up. And uh I it took me a while to figure out no, I love you. The limits on my love and my blessings are just based on you, you know, not on me. It's it's it's you. And we've we've got to understand that, especially when we're looking at someone else and we envy that. Man, look how big their church is. Okay, I we I used to do that. Look how big their church is. Now our church is having to move to two services, and I'm like, look how little their church is. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be awesome? We could sit around on Sunday mornings swapping stories, and you know, remember how it used to be?

SPEAKER_01: 44:55

Yeah, those days are are gone.

SPEAKER_02: 44:57

I can't even I can't even remember them anymore. But that's why they call them the good old days because you don't you don't remember.

SPEAKER_01: 45:05

Um I I remember we had, I think it was our kids' birthday party, maybe. And so we had a bunch of people over the house, and my I think it was my aunt was talking to someone because they had mentioned they liked my couch or something, or how it was really comfortable, something like that. And she's like, he didn't even pay for this couch, you got it for free. And he's like, What? How did you get it for free? And so I told him the story about you know, we went out and we were shopping for a couch, and the lady uh who was selling uh on the sale floor that day was a best friend of a lady I used to work with. So I used to see her when I was at the bank. And so we were talking and working through couches. We weren't in love with anything. She goes, Well, if you don't love anything, I got I just bought a brand new couch. Um, and I have a couch at my house. If you guys can wait a couple days, you can just come pick it up. And I got I even got new cushions for it that are unopened. And I'm like, Yeah, sure. So I went and I picked up this couch, got this couch for free. Um, and there was, I don't know if it was one of my brothers or one of my cousins, because and God has been so good to me in my life that this kind of stuff has happened like it more than it seems like is normal, I guess. It feels normal to me. But someone was like, of course you got it for free. Um there's that, yeah. Oh, of course you did. And and I don't think they meant anything malicious by that. Um, I think it was just a couple of things.

SPEAKER_02: 46:28

Well, remember, if if you're at Ryan's house, most of his stuff he borrowed and didn't didn't return. So he didn't get it for free. It's really not his at all. Uh, it's just on loan.

SPEAKER_01: 46:41

But man, we we get into those spots where it's like, man, why does God do all that stuff for them? Why does God show up for them and not me? And so someone else gets healed and you're still waiting. Right. Someone else gets pregnant, you're still praying.

SPEAKER_02: 46:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 46:56

Someone else gets the job, you're still searching. And you're like, God, what I'm doing, all this stuff. I'm showing up to church, I'm reading my Bible, I'm praying, you know, I'm even giving some money when they talk about it. I I why why do you keep overlooking me?

SPEAKER_02: 47:13

And I think uh one of the things that my dad taught me, and I've tried to teach this church, if God doesn't do anything more than save you, what else could you ask for? You know, uh, we gotta look at God for who he is, but we also need to look at us uh like who we are, and that's why we gotta ask these questions here. Do I believe God is overlooking me? Do I believe that? Is that part of my faith that God is overlooking me in the middle of all this? And you gotta ask yourself that question because if you believe that, then you're envious.

SPEAKER_01: 47:56

Yeah, you know there's uh here's trying to make sure this makes sense. Um Jesus gives this illustration, right? There's a couple guys. One guy gets five talents, one guy gets two talents, another guy gets one. And the guy who has five goes out and he earns five more. And the master says, Well done, my good and faithful servant. You've been faithful and little, now I'll give you even more. Well, the guy with two talents, he goes out and he earns two more. And he comes back and his master says, the same thing. Well done, good and faithful servant. You've been faithful and little, I'll give you more. The guy who had one talent, he buries his, says, I know my master is hard, and he that master's ticked. Well, but the point in this whole thing is the guy with two talents never looked at the guy with five talents and said, Well, how come I didn't get five? And that guy had five, and he earned five more. But if I would have had his opportunities and his resources, and if I would have had his starting place, then I could have made that. And he didn't say that. He had two, the other guy had five. They both went out, they both doubled it. And the master said the same thing to both of them. Well done. And we think they have more, they had a better starting place in life, they grew up in a wealthier family than I did, they went to a better college than I did. Life's just been easier for them, whatever it is. And I didn't have those. And we'll start to compare ourselves. And what God's really saying is, will you be faithful with what you do have? Will you be faithful here? God is not comparing your results to what someone else has. He's saying, This is what you have, this is what I've given you. Will you be faithful? And if you'll be faithful in those little things, he says, I can give you more things. But you gotta be faithful here. And so if you believe God is overlooking you because someone else has five and you have two, you've missed it. You've missed it. And when Aesoph wrote Psalm 73, and I'd encourage you to go and read it. It's it's too long to read the whole thing here, but let me read you the first verse or two. This is what Aesoph said. He says, God is indeed good to Israel, to the pure in heart, but as for me, my feet almost slipped. My steps nearly went astray. For I envied the arrogant, and I saw the prosperity of the wicked. He says, Man, I looked out and I saw these guys. He goes on to say, Man, they have an easy time until they die. Their bodies are well fed, they're not in trouble like other people are in trouble. He lists all the grievances that you and I are listing today. Look at I look out at these people, and especially when we look outside of the church and we see all these people who are really successful and they got all the money and all the things. We're like, man, I'm trying to do it God's way, and none of this seems to happen for me. How come it always happens for them? That's where ASOF was. He says, I almost lost my way because I envied those people. And man, I would encourage you, do not, do not tie this, get into this comparison game and tie what God's blessing in your life to what someone else has, or or begin to measure God's goodness by someone else's blessing or what they achieved. And the truth of the matter is, you don't know what that costs them. You know, you were just talking about, you know, these pastors pastoring these big old churches and doing all this stuff. And man, wouldn't that be great if we had all those people? You don't know what that costs them. Lights and yes, all those lights, LED screens and the theatrical seating. You don't know what it costs that guy to be able to do that. And then you start to get a glimpse of it and you're like, man, am I willing to pay this price?

SPEAKER_02: 51:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 51:51

You don't know what it costs. And so it's easy to look and say, man, if I only had that, and if God only loved me like he loved them, and you are going to in the middle miss God's goodness in your life. God's goodness is not measured by comparing blessings. And every time you do, you're gonna come up short. But what we know is that God is faithful, that he is good.

SPEAKER_02: 52:18

Um and listen, we've been talking about envy, and I know we gotta wrap up, we've been here a long time, but it always ends up here. It always ends up as a theological um question in your life. Envy will always end there. Is God better to others than he is to me? And so we have to we have to wrestle with that. And I'm gonna give you five uh we got five things here that we want to share with you. First of all, you've got to confess it. You just gotta face, face it. What I said in the beginning still applies after seven of these um what do you call diagnostic tools, okay? Still applies. You're just being a normal human, a fall in and a fallen world. You're just being normal. And uh we want you to not be like that, of course, but the best way to do it, um, the first thing you have to do, let's put it that way, is you have to confess it. Confession breaks its power. What you're doing, you're agreeing with God. You gave me two. Um I think I deserve more, but you're God and I'm not. So thank you for my two. Here I go. Right. I'm gonna make you four. And uh that's who we gotta be. And uh we gotta confess that hey, I'm mad at that person just because they're doing good, God help me celebrate with them. Yeah, and it's it's important that we confess this so that we can face it in the mirror.

SPEAKER_01: 53:59

Yeah, number two, practice gratitude intentionally. Um, you know, I talked about on Sunday, Joey and I were writing down three things at the end of each day that we are grateful for. That's a great step. Uh just once a day. You don't pull out the notes app on your phone or get a get a small notebook, something, and just start writing three, four, five things that you're grateful for every day. And that'll begin to break envy's grip because it'll focus you on what God has provided and allow you to celebrate those things.

SPEAKER_02: 54:29

Number three, celebrate others out loud. Not just just pray it, but celebrate out loud. Speak blessings over someone else's wind.

SPEAKER_01: 54:41

We're so quick when we catch someone doing something wrong, right? We love gossip. We'll run out there, we'll gossip like crazy. What if instead of gossip, you just started singing everybody's praises? You know, and instead of rushing out to share someone's juicy news or secret, you ran out to celebrate them. Oh my gosh, did you see what they did? Oh my gosh, did you see how awesome this was? You begin to do that, and man, envy, it loses its grip. Um, it has no footing because now you start to celebrate what other people are doing out loud in front of people.

SPEAKER_02: 55:15

Uh, for number four, and this is important, we always remember the good old days. I mentioned it earlier before. You know, we we remember the good old days, but we don't remember the details of those good old days. And it's important for us to remember what God has given us. Um, I mean, down to the salt in your shaker. Thank you, God, for doing that. We need to rehearse his faithfulness to us. Yeah, um, but I live in America and God has blessed me. Even if I don't have as much as everybody else around me, I have more than most people in the world. And uh I want to thank God for that. We need to rehearse not what's wrong, but what God has given us, where he's been faithful. That's right. And bring it up over and over again. And that builds your confidence in God and it punches envy in the face. Amen. It says, I can't, I I can't get a hold of this guy. Um, he just he's always thinking about what God has done for him. And it's easy to forget those things. Uh, listing five blessings daily is a great way to start, but don't list them in your mind, don't list them in your prayer. Put them in a notebook so you can remember them.

SPEAKER_01: 56:38

And then you you get into a situation and you can look back and go, man, God was faithful then. I know he'll be faithful now. And so, number five, uh, last one here, refocus your identity. Your worth isn't tied to comparison. God is not out here picking and choosing based off who he loves more. Um, that's a lie. And you need to quit believing that thing. Um, you are your identity is rooted in Christ. And and I love how Aesop kind of starts wrapping this all up in Psalm 73. He says, This as for me, God's presence is my good. I love that. Lord, I almost slipped when I looked at other people and and the way they live and all that they got, I envied them and I almost lost my way. But he comes down here and he says, But as for me, God's presence is my good. I have made the Lord my refuge so I can tell about all that you do. God is faithful, and your identity is not rooted in what you have. And man, you need to listen to me because I I I guess women might struggle with this too, but man, I've talked to so many men over the years that your identity is rooted in what you do and how much money you make and how much is in your 401k. It's not true. You are a child of God, a child of the king, a co-heir with Christ. That's who you are. Stop the comparison. Don't give it a foothold in your life. And so if you'll begin to do these five things, confess it, name it honestly, practice gratitude intentionally, celebrate others out loud, remember what God has given you, and refocus your identity. Envy will begin to lose its grip in your life. And you can begin to experience joy and thankfulness, contentment, peace, gratitude, all those things that God has for you if we'll begin to rip this thing out.

SPEAKER_02: 58:42

But you gotta call it out first. You just gotta accept it and say, That's what it is. That's what it is. And and then to confess it, Lord, I let this get a grip on me. Take it away, I'm sorry. And and move on and and do these other practical steps that'll force you to push away envy. Yeah. And when you feel less content, when you feel less grateful, or you start searching for things to make you happy, you let envy in. And uh let's be proactive, let's let's fight it, and uh, and not let Satan steal our joy. Let us live in joy um until the time we go home. Because when we go home, home coming up, you know, our Christmas series, when we go home, there's there's no place to put all the joy. We're gonna be overflowing with joy. We're gonna be saying, I need some angst because and God's saying, No, I took all your angst out and I'm stuffing it with joy. And uh I just can we just live on joy like this forever and the Lord. Lord's gonna say, Yes, you can. You don't have to be that way. And we don't have to be that way here, right? Because we have been regenerated. We are already the people that we're gonna be in heaven. And that's a that's an exciting thing. We don't have to live in this mess. All we have to do is say no.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:24

Father, we thank you so much for your word. We thank you for this reminder. And Father, we we ask that you would help rip envy out of our hearts. And so, God, we confess it. That's the first thing we have to do. And so, Lord, I pray that you'd help us identify using this diagnostic we ran through today. Help us identify where envy has taken root. And then Lord, help us to agree with you on that thing. It is, it is wrong. It is stealing my joy, my peace, my content. And Father, then I pray that you would help us to begin to practice gratitude, to celebrate others, to remember what you've done, and to have our identity rooted in you. Lord, we are so grateful. We are so thankful for all that you're doing in each of our lives. Lord, we're thank you, thankful for what you're doing in this church. We ask that you would continue to show up and move. And God, whatever it is, it's enough. And we thank you for it. In Jesus' name.

unknown: 1:01:18

Amen.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:19

Amen and amen.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:20

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